NOPD-There's the rank and then there's the Filet

Holy trinity of the Chin's is that Riley or Big Al Carson in that uniform?

Is it me or has Chief Riley gained at least 50 lbs., since he was named the head of the SS. I mean Compass was stocky but I never saw him sport three chins in a photo op.

Which leads me to my next statement. In the many opportunities I've been embedded with NOPD officers as a photojournalist I can say this with great surety: No access is given, no permission granted, no favor extended with out a trip to a steakhouse. You want to ride along with the 8th district, it will cost you the rib eye with souffle potatoes and the Amarone. You want to interview the detective, lets go to Ruth's and talk about it. And you can bet your blogs that when Werner Herzog comes to town to shoot the remake of "Bad Lieutenant," and wants to keep it REAL, we should probably have some cardiologists on standby. For if there is one thing I understand to be true about Germans and film making is that if they are going to make a movie about sinking submarines they are going to shoot it on a real sinking submarine. I shudder to think of the implications Mr. Herzog's handpicking of New Orleans to shoot the remake could have on the city and the NOPD.

"Bad Lieutenant" not to be confused with "Reckless Driving Officer" or "Sgt. Wrong Shirt", it is the story of a malignant lieutenant so mortally flawed as a human that as you watch the movie it makes you feel so awkward and uncomfortable, nausea inducing in my case, that such a character could exist even in someones imagination, let alone as a Police Officer somewhere... unless of course that somewhere is here.

It is said that Herzog wanted the movie shot in New Orleans regardless of tax credits. Having covered NOPD officers involved in murder, rape, prostitution, theft, and malfeasance, it suddenly makes this movie look a little more like a Documentary, than the fictional thought provoking discussion about the relationship between power and evil it was perhaps intended to be. That being said I wonder the size and cut of the artery clogging steak that will be ordered when Chef, I mean Chief Riley sits down with Executives to discuss the use of NOPD uniforms in the movie. I imagine:

Exec: "Mr. Herzog insists on keeping this story as organic as the western grain fed beef you are eating and insists upon negotiating a deal to use the Black shirts and Black Pants of your Gestapo, er I mean Police force."

Chief Riley: "I'm afraid that might put the Department in a dilemma... a little to much art imitating life if you catch my drift, can you pass the Bearnaise."

Exec: "We would be more than willing to quadruple the amount of police details needed to assist in production around the city, as well as arrange more "consultation dinners."

Chief Riley: "Now were getting to the meat and potatoes of the matter, besides everyone thinks the black on black thing is a problem, its just too damn hot in this city in the summer. I just keep telling them it will cool off in the fall, and they keep saying there not talking about the uniforms. Besides I was gonna switch back to the traditional Blues, until that Sgt. Booby Guidry collar-blocked me."

(camera pulls back thru the dimly lit dining room of the new Ruth Chris Steakhouse, and scene.)

It is important to realize that while none of the names have been changed to protect the guilty this is a fictionalized conversation that may have already happened. In the original "Bad Lieutenant," the officer, played by Harvey Keitel, is redeemed despite all his sins through his Catholicism. If the NOPD high command wants sizzling rib eye for its involvement, I can only wonder what Bishops Hughes is looking for. Perhaps if the Bishop knew that Mr. Herzog once hypnotized his crew during a film, he would enlist the German New Wave director to hypnotize the parishioners of St. Henry's into believing that he is closing the church there for a good reason. Then again if it ain't Friday maybe he will just take a filet.

WJ